When they met.

If there's one day that it's going to rain, that should be today. When emotion spills and everything comes so dry - pour me rain and it will heal, as time pass me by.

This is where it all started. This is where i thought there's rainbow after rain - a promise of sunshine as it cease.

It was once a wonderful love story, a romance every woman wished, a love every man promised.

It was late that night when world's apart. It was that night when time ticks and smiley's sighs. And it was that night, from nowhere, when love was a tragedy everyone tried to deny.

He was a great dancer. Try-hard, frustrated, ambitious. But gracious. He can sway his body like no-woman ever existed. He will die for dancing. That's something he was born to live for.

She. She is just, just a typical girl. with lots of crushes. Lots of make-believed admirers. She believes in fashion. She believes in every fairy tales. She always thought of a knight - the hollywood-type, maybe Brad Pit or Leonardo or the stupid likes - coming towards her in slow motion, lights focused, center-stage, with overwhelming silence, saying "Hi!" and asking her name.

They were two great piece of art. Two great proofs of imaginative indecency.

It was the birthday cake. It was that phone message. It was the solitary moment that night. From two different worlds. From two different walks. And, it happened. One day they met, And it was the most horrible one.

Meet Miss Mouse

Once in a real-moony-blue-night, a tiny, shiny star, with wit ablazed, came through striking in the lightning wake. As teary as it snows, the world awaits for black holes to maze.

Typically, when a girl-meets-boy, a magical love affair happens. But not that night when all the world's a shame and everythings trembling like summer heat on winter days.

Weepy, i know, she walked towards me, greeting me with a smile, but i know she's fakin' just to lure the night.

Then there we sat. We're like bestfriends. We laughed at how we strangely had each other that night.

I looked at her, with the most questions I ever had in my life. My lips are grueling to utter one until she had me "why'd".

We talked about this and this and that. She asked why and how and why. But I simply told her that and that and maybe, yeah.

We have the night like we were in the club. We can't hear each other. Each one's shouting their phrases. But we had the beat. Plus the skinny-martini.

Her braces. Her eyeglasses. Her red-foot-nail-polish. Her school shirt, the jeans and the bangs. They all seem screaming for justice!

Have anyone heard of, you know, the typical-teen-romance stuff? The stuff that made guys burn out their pants and made girls weep hard in their panties? Such things have been intolerably, misdirecting all teens, no exception, to grow.

Immaturity stands a long way, though always have been a part of the growing up process. But, in search for intimacy over isolation, we tend to grab a strangers hand, get on knees, and there you go, you're married. And marriage is the last legal form of slavery.

How ready are we? To love? NO! But to accept defeat and let go. To learn to live and grow. Yet, we're all so young.

Life like love is a guessing game. You know, like diving in a pool of water without knowing if its shallow or deep. Given if its shallow, you'll get yourself hurt, injured yourself from back of the neck way down to your spines. But when it's deep? MEN! It's like a leap of faith! It's like you can't explain but real happiness. Love isn't just getting into the climax. Love is not being afraid to be alone. Not being afraid to decide. Love is a risk you have to take, if you really want a real one.

Sometimes we get that impulsive with our stuff. Sometimes, real bad. But, love isn't a mission you need to fulfill. Just grow. Learn. Be happy. Thats it. And if ever love never coincide your way, then WHAT? I mean, then WHAT?!

The night so young, yet we grew. She stunned me with a pose and there i knew. She's one precious thing who ever lived this world. But i'm afraid, like dinosaurs, she'll meet extinction. I'm afraid, the world would miss, how strong and lovely she could be, when she's all down, weepy and - GREAT.

Future: Remy


From some point, from point-to-point, how every else's point, existed have been a great deal of how and why it should exist. Seemingly, the fact that every human existence in this so-called "planet-of-the-earth", humanity has gone deep through diversity, and that's - insanity.

Entertaining the thought of what's-life-going-to-be-years-from-now, moved me and my, not-so-close, but a-real-close-friend Remy, to the idea of putting up something that could provide us our needs without much effort in return, I mean, not stressing ourselves that much.

With every stars that kindle up in the precious night-grey skies, we drew billions and billions of blueprints. Blueprints of our anticipated wonderful future of dreams.

With her honey-bunch-he-wanna-crunch girl - hmmmm i won't mention the name, we sat on that sunny time machine as if we're up to something great and historical. Well, it actually took us millions and millions of seconds waiting there for something to explode like a black hole.

But honestly, that night I'm totally "blanked". And I just don't know. And i'm sort of, saw not my dreams, but the real perfect future for my friend.

They're as if honey and bees. They're as if winter and breeze. They're as if jealous and tease. And they're as if hugs and squeeze.

I've been one great dreamer almost everyday. Ambitious and envious at every wit. And that night, we're not really planning the future, we are walking towards it. My friend's and his girls symphony serenades, and I was, that night, a testimony of how sweet their melody could be.

Some times, we strain ourselves, preparing ourselves in-the-not-so-far-future. We try to live everyday for the future. Everyday is one simple step towards tomorrow. We lived worried about what's going to happen next. We sleep every night with troubles in our head. We're so preoccupied by the future. And we only seem to exist for the future.

How crazy was it? We keep gazing and guessing what our future might be. We didn't notice and forgot to stare. The future ahead, is just right at our sides, sitting, waiting, for you to live them today.

Unorganized.

It's been some nights and still i'm confused for the reason i don't know. I'm confused of some things that I really can't recognize. And my chest's heavy, if only i could burp my heart out to give it some air.

Being at the part of the day, where the sun's heat beats you down, i mean it's - i just can't breathe, less air. And every tomorrow seems so far away. You're stuck in the middle of today. HOw you wish you have stayed longer in the morning breeze.

What i'm trying to say is i'm at the point or stage of growing up where opportunities open up to all my potentials, and i don't know what to choose - what do i really like, who i really am.

There then came the word - practicality. Every choice must consider almost everything, i mean, everything that pertains to money - compensation, incentives - as if success and life longetivity is measured by money you have in your accounts.

I'm not trying to dig some typical issues between happiness and practicality but it drains me, real deep, knowing i'm the one affected this time.

Well, what now? And i'm blanked. Hilarious.

It's kind of funny, finding yourself having arguements about your future and you jsut forget to live today, to enjoy today, moments. Well, what should I do? Keep arguing, you'll learn a lot. (hahaha)

I'm not trying to be cynical about life, or the way to live it, but there's just some facts that you really have to face and i do fear these facts.

And its so uncanny how people appear to care, and would inspire you with an advice, "everything's your fucking choice" and then boosts you with a tap in the back saying, "you can do it jerk."

Oh! Man in the edge of hell and heaven! Should I tell, wasting time in burden of silence is better than your silly advices.

Peek-a-boo

I am surprised.
I had what I didn't expect.
It was just like...
Hey!
Peek-a-boo.

My heart rate's racing,
Am I not that convincing.
Believe me when I way it is all because of
Peek-a-boo.

Baby, Kid, You, Me.
Had once enjoyed it.
Why am I nervous now? Oh why?
Peek-a-boo.

Nap

Something that I should have
To escape from the worldly things I must
Is it good, better? No, it's the best
I dunno what is thought by the rest.

Sleep is the only thing I can do
When I can handle situations no more
But I still think about you
Why do you haunt me in dreams? Sure...

Your face is fixed in my mind.
I don't know how you did, maybe it was a matter of time.
Stay with me to the end.
Don't ever leave me or to death I'd bend.

stubborn affiliates

the world's raining graces
i'm aching aces
singing braces
wandering over sane mazes.

talking unwind,
words uttered the crime
rubber-ducky's off my mind
making daddy's in a bottle of wine.

born the world of madness
burn my world of sadness
take all that pleases
i'm out of Mary's.

jot it all down,
make them all frown,
but never cry crowns
'coz things are not owned just won.

Exist

Never cease to exist...
No matter how hard life may be.
"Lemme disappear",
Sometimes you just wish.
Don't you just realize how lucky you are,
To breathe in new life and again set foot on real soil.
Have you wondered how it'd feel if you're floating and don't know where...?
You are lucky.
Lucky to be free.
Love.
Live.
Laugh.
Exist.

Cosmic

I could not sleep.
I just can't.
Would never again see the moon and the stars,
Stuck in this never ending part of the day.
No dawn, no twilight.
Just...
Enchanted under the shadows of you.
How can I ever escape?
And see the yonder day break?

Blind

I sit and wait as I listen to every single tick of my own clock
Plastered on the wall or maybe just a resonating sound in my own head
Tick... tock... What do I have?
Nothing but emptiness. A vast world yet to fill.
I am the boy who writes.
No one seems to bother talk, I may be that uninteresting or what.
It doesn't matter though as long as I reach the heart of the girl who reads.

I am the girl who reads.
I may expect more of my own simple life.
Knock... knock... Do I have to wake up?
Are books that influential? or am I fooling myself in a world of make-believes?
Salt and pepper are almost the same as the sprinkles of literature.
I've got hope... more faith.
Waiting for... my only boy who writes.

dashes

All we did was to eliminate the future with what we do today. Did it really existed - whatever?

What is a beautiful feeling - that one simple which you never thought could extravagantly take you into the thought of "what's going on", insanely.

Writing so gay could mean only a thing - depression is a must.

And to wherever it might take you - stupid.

My Photoshop

This is my photoshop. A view from the mountain top. everything's cropped. Pomeranian dog on a pedicab. Everyday's a hub. Take a ride in a Genesis cab. Travel the world with love. And end the day with honey's hug.

Now, close my eyes with dimmest lights. Dream tomorrows in deepest heights. Export the sanity of all my freights. Claim gratitude out of might. And try to define what is life.

Capture moments. because this world randomly strikes a pose.

Hold the breeze. and take some life's pause.

And smile. because you'll never know.